I don't write many notes, or really try to 'air out' my opinions on Facebook. I mostly read things, comment on a few, repost funny things, and use FB to catch up with family and encourage people.
But I know in this instance I'm not the only one out there. Who are we? We are the silent breastfeeders. There...I did it...I posted the "b" word in public. It's true. I am uncomfortable with candidly talking about breastfeeding in day-to-day conversation - not with the benefits and importance of it, but with the basic functionality of it and everything that goes with that. Not only that, but if I have ever disclosed to someone my 'uncomfortableness' of certain posts that cross a certain line (in my mind) of appropriateness, I am labelled as an unsupporter, or as someone who is offended at breastfeeding.
This is not directed at anyone in particular, and I am not trying to open a can of worms I am just asking that before you label, please consider the following:
I am a very conservative and modest person when it comes to my body. Not out of self-righteousness or morality issues, but mostly because of some events that have happened in my life which have involved harassment, and basically some forms of abuse. It has made me a very private person in that respect. I'm the person who changes in the bathroom when I'm at the swimming pool locker room :) This is not something that I will 'get over'. It is part of who I am, and has contributed to who I am today. It has made certain topics private, and intimate for me...and frankly, I am uncomfortable discussing some things in public.
Unfortunately in the world we live in, I know that I am not alone. Many people are modest and private about things - and they have their own reasons and personal history- who are uncomfortable discussing certain topics.
This does not make us unsupporters.
I have been nursing my own daughter since she was born. I am a part of online support groups, and I have visited a lactation consultant. I too agree that there is not enough support out there in the public forum for new moms. Let me say it again, I support it!
However, to those who sometimes speak about or post 'way too much information than I ever wanted to know in my life' about certain things, and then quickly label all those who do not really want to know said information as "offended" - I ask you to be considerate of the issues and circumstances we have had to face. It is not the outspoken about breastfeeding that need the support and encouragement, but the quiet and the private.
When opinions about a person's right to breastfeed and the fact that they can 'offend anyone they want to' attitude comes to the surface MORE than the actual act of supporting those who need help, they are alienating an entire group of people (myself included). I have never felt like less of a mother than when i am confronted with that kind of opinion. I feel guilty for needing to be private and modest.
People like me will not go to people like that for support or information on breastfeeding.
That being said, I do not want to discourage those from fighting for women's rights to breastfeed in public. I do it. I am modest and discreet when I do, but I do not petition or become offended when there are mother's feeding their little ones who are not. I respect people who have this soapbox as their passion.
I just ask that people use some discernment (and I am speaking of those who are claiming to want to help women) and be sensitive to the issues others have faced that you may not have experienced, so you would not understand. If you have actively 'friended' my husband on facebook and are posting more about YOUR breasts than what I would speak with him about in private about mine, then yes...I am uncomfortable with that. If you ask, I will tell you. I will also make sure that his settings concerning your account are set at a different level :)
I am uncomfortable, but I am not offended...until you tell me that there is something wrong with me and my privateness and my modesty. Then it bothers me. I am not less of a mother. This note is to society in general. We are in a whole-food, organic, granola, breastfeeding and talking about it in public stage in our society...and for the most part, that is awesome. It is healthy. It is beautiful. It is important.
I...we...sometimes get uncomfortable. If you are our true friend, please strive to understand this and the reasons why. Sometimes there are horrible events that have happened in someone's past. Sometimes a person is just brought up ultra conservative and modest - neither makes them a bad person. If you are striving to help mothers...all mothers...please don't shut us out. If you just want to spout off your reasons why disclosing EVERYTHING to do with breastfeeding is the ONLY way to go, please let me remind you again:
We are uncomfortable, but not offended. However, the fact that our position is not the same as yours does somehow offend you.
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